In a strange arrangement of various values & entities, the first days of my first job proves to be a little stinky and useless, professionally as well as individually, but a bit more than a grave. All the pillars which justify living seems to rebuke at each & every bit of my breath.
The music, aah! I forgot my pen drive, is an alien word. The soul- refreshing treats of Bhajans are beyond my reach. And, thus is the fate of my enquiring soul. In a team game with the body, it is being slashed every now and then. Books live along with hiding insects and so does my intellect.
The 'competitive' and 'dynamic' attitude is tortured by the presence of a stunningly shallow mindset of my fellow soldiers. It seems as if I have been imprisioned for committing the sin of 'enthusiam'.
My friends, my darlings are all away. My emotions for them sweeps me from my lonliness only to take me to a state of realisation that even after almost a week, I don't have my cellphone. It's a pathetic state of relationships.
And finally, but strangely the most dominating of all ----. The clutches of bygone emotions which slaps me at each sigh of a desire and caress me on every spark of fire. The revelation of a strange attachment to a receding love rottens my imagination and spits on my body its frustrating turnings of unfulfilled identity.
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I told you. Life is moved by money ..it means competition. "if you dont eat someone at the lunch. someone will eat you at the dinner". Forget the emotions for awhile. Think that when you have money enough ou can write n entire book talking about your own experiences, your own travels made with the money you will get. Life is short so dont wat too much to do it.
You were waiting for the laugher sometime back. Two of her cousins died with cancer. After a recent death she went to the doctor and she has the beginning of the cancer inside her intestines: we call polipos - they are small balls. Next 26 august they will make a big investigation and take all balls out in an exam named colonoscopy.
What a dream.. back in tme and prepair my future in an appropriate way. The laugher would still be here.
Use your inteligence to win money. You will be gratefull to me someday. ;-)
Kisses
Taz
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